Sorry friends for irregularity.I’m back to Sunday Fun after after a two weeks break.Here goes the Sunday fun of today taking some rest from  programming. Today I’m going to talk about English language. It’s become one of the most essential language for me and hope for many people as well. But here are some of CONFUSING ENGLISH terms that makes me headache, would u help me?

1. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

2. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

3. If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?

4. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren’t people from Holland called Holes?

5. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

6. Why the man who invests all your money called a broker?

7. If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?

8. Why is it called building when it is already built?

9. If a book about failures doesn’t sell, is it a success?

10. If you’re not supposed to drink and drive, then why do bars have parking lots?

11. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

12. If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?? Human ??

Another weekend, time to take break form coding stuffs and enjoy the holiday with some fun.So If you’re a regular reader then you might have remembered that I just try to post something funny in the Sunday, taking break from coding stuffs.Today, I’ve come up with the height of stuffs in the IT peoples hope you will like it.read on and enjoy…

HEIGHT OF ISOLATION:
Two persons sitting side by side using emails to communicate with each other.

HEIGHT OF HELPLESSNESS:
Receiving no emails for a week.

HEIGHT OF COWARDICE:
Two persons fighting through emails.

HEIGHT OF CARELESSNESS:
Writing a love mail and doing a ‘Send All.’

HEIGHT OF FRUSTRATION:
The email server being down.

HEIGHT OF TIMEPASS:
A person sending email to himself

HEIGHT OF REPETITION:
Forwarding an email to someone and receiving the same email forwarded back to you By some one in the receiving chain.

HEIGHT OF BROWSING:
U r swimming in the water tank and shout ‘F1 F1 F1 ‘ instead of shouting ‘HELP’ when u are unable to swim…

I know I’ve been much irregular these days and what to do I’m going through some busy schedule these days. Sorry for that but today I’m here with another fun post of Sunday. I think the auto responders I’ve posted here are very useful if you’re going for holiday and looking for the best auto responder for the holiday then I recommend to use any of the auto replies of below.

1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.

2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office.

If I was in, chances are you wouldn’t have received anything at all.

3. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return From holiday on 4 April. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order It was received .

4. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged £5.99 for the first ten Words and £1.99 for each additional word in your message.

5. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver This message. Please restart your computer and try sending again.

6. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system…

You are Currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 13 weeks.

7. I’ve run away to join a different circus.

Sorry friends….I couldn’t post the doze for sunday in past two weeks. But I’m with with the sunday fun again this week. Everybody knows that Sunday is fun-day and developers don’t want to go through coding on this day. Now, take a look a picture below and you’ll get idea what to do when you get bored at your office tomorrow so enjoy …

This is how not-tech people survives a day in office.

But this the way tech people survives a day in office!!!!

hello guyz….I’m shifting to new home so I will not be able to post for few days as I’ve to get another internet connection in new place and connect it but I’ve not forgotten to post the special dose of Sunday to make you laugh. In this post, I’m going to tell you some characteristics of experienced programmer. After reading this post, please let me know weather you fall within this category or not?

When you are counting objects, you go like “0,1,2,3,4,5, 6,7,8,9,A, B,C,D…” .

When asked about a bus schedule, you wonder if it is 16 or 32 bits.

When your wife says “If you don’t turn off that darn machine and come to bed,then I am going to divorce you!”, and you chastise her for for omitting the else clause.

When you are reading a book and look for the space bar to get to the next page.

When you look for your car keys using: “grep keys /dev/pockets”

When after fooling around all day with routers etc, you pick up the phone and start dialing an IP number.

When you get in the elevator and double-press the button for the floor you want.

When not only do you check your email more often than your paper mail, but you remember your {network address} faster than your postal one.

When you go to balance your checkbook and discover that you’re doing the math in octal.

Today is the Sunday and as you know I always take break from the coding in the weekend and try to make you laugh as much as I can.  This week I’ve come up with another diplomatic sentences spoken by the Project Managers peoples. Read the hidden meaning of actual sentences below and analyze what your project managers means to say if they will speak any of the below sentences.

1.”We will do it” means “You will do it”

2.”You have done a great job” means “More work to be given to you”

3.”We are working on it” means “We have not yet started working on the same”

4.”Tomorrow first thing in the morning” means “Its not getting done “At least not tomorrow!”

5.”After discussion we will decide-I am very open to views” means “I have already decided, I will tell you what to do”

6.”There was a slight miscommunication” means “We had actually lied”

7.”Lets call a meeting and discuss” means “I have no time now, will talk later”

8.”We can always do it” means “We actually cannot do the same on time”

9.”We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension of the deadline” means “The project is screwed up, we cannot deliver on time.”

10.”We had slight differences of opinion “means “We had actually fought”

11.”Make a list of the work that you do and let’s see how I can help you” means “Anyway you have to find a way out no help from me”

12.”You should have told me earlier” means “Well even if you told me earlier that would have made hardly any difference!”

13.”We need to find out the real reason” means “Well I will tell you where your fault is”

14.”Well Family is important; your leave is always granted. Just ensure that the work is not affected,” means, “Well first finish your work first then whatever you do I don’t give damn…”

15.”We are a team,” means, “I am not the only one to be blamed”

16.”That’s actually a good question” means “I do not know anything about it”

17.”All the Best” means “You are in trouble”

Another Sunday and time to take break from coding, programming and all. Today, I got a really interesting email from a Indian friend of mine and a CV was attached with that email. I don’t know who has made this COOL CV but what I think you should really make a CV like this and use it for future purpose and do let me know the response from the new employer .

Every sunday I post some funny jokes or pictures related to Technology but today I’m going to post a so true video for the Web Developer guyz. A big thanks goes to  Bogdan who sent me the link of this video. I really have to admire this video and have to say thanks to the person who has made this video.This is so true video which tells what many web developer are going through their development process and in their office.

Are you going through the same pain?

As you know in the weekend, I would like to make you guys laugh rather than roaming around the code. So, another Sunday and time for some laugh. These days I’m putting my hands over the Internet Marketing and I was collecting more knowledge of marketing(I’m a science student and very poor in marketing stuffs).Here are the examples of different marketing terms which was given to me by one of my good friend.

1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to
her and say: “I am very rich. “Marry me!”
- That’s Direct Marketing…”

2. You’re at a party with a bunch of friends and see a
gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says: “He’s very rich.”Marry him.”
-That’s Advertising…”

3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to
her and get her telephone number. The next day, you
call and say: “Hi, I’m very rich. “Marry me
- That’s Telemarketing…”

4. You’re at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up
and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour
her a drink, you open the door (of the car)”Marry Me?”
- That’s Public Relations…”

5. You’re at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks
up to you and says:”You are very rich!
“Can you marry ! me?”
- That’s Brand Recognition…”

6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to
her and say: “I am very rich. Marry me!” She gives you
a nice hard slap on your face.
- “That’s Customer Feedback…”

7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to
her and say: “I am very rich. Marry me!” And she
introduces you to her husband.
- “That’s demand and supply gap…”

8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to
her and before you say anything, another person come
and tell her: “I’m rich. Will you marry me?” and she
goes with him
- “That’s competition eating into your market share…”

9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to
her and before you say: “I’m rich, Marry me!” your
wife arrives.
- “That’s restriction for entering new markets…”

I was wondering what would the appropriate term for explaining “Affiliate Marketing” using above example. Anybody please!!!

Another Sunday and time for some laugh. I’ve selected some of the humor related to programming and IT for this weekend. I think they are  fun and will bring some laugh to your face. Enjoy the programming related joke.

Programming & IT related Jokes

A software engineer was smoking in office.

Girl says, Cant you see the warning? “smoking is injurious to health”

the engineer says…….. …

We bother only about Errors not Warnings !!!!

—————————————————————————-

Once a programmer drowned in the sea. Many Marines where at that time on the beach, but the programmer was shouting “F1 F1″ and nobody understood it.

—————————————————————————-

Q. How did the programmer die in the shower?
A. He read the shampoo bottle instructions: Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

—————————————————————————-

Error messages under consideration for Windows Vista

• Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.

• Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.

• BREAKFAST.SYS halted… Cereal port not responding.

• Close your eyes and press escape three times.

• File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)

• Runtime Error 6D at 417A:32CF: Incompetent User.

• Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.

• Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.

• Windows message: “Error saving file! Format drive now? (Y/Y)”

• Windows VirusScan 1.0 – “Windows found: Remove it? (Y/N)”

You can’t imagine how powerful a laptop can be. You’ll be surprised after looking at the Images below. How a laptop can be used for serving various useful and general needs as well. I’m really impressed by their multi-purpose use of their laptop. Do you use your laptop in the same way these guyz are doing?

Using laptop as a Nut Cracker

Using Laptop as a Pillow

Using Laptop in Table Tennis

Using Laptop as a Chair

Aren’t these guyz are amazing ? What about your laptop ? Will you use it for serving the same purpose as seen above?

Another weekend and time for some laugh. Ok guys in this post I’ll show you the conversation between husband and wife and you’ll find the great reply from the husband who is a software engineer.  I think you guyz will also reply the same kind of answers to your wife. Please let me know if you answer the same way or different way to your wife.

Husband – hey dear, I am logged in.

Wife – would you like to have some snacks?

Husband – hard disk full.

Wife – have you brought the saree.

Husband – Bad command or file name.

Wife – but I told you about it in morning

Husband – erroneous syntax, abort, retry, cancel.

Wife – hae bhagwan !forget it where’s your salary.

Husband – file in use, read only, try after some time.

Wife – at least give me your credit card, I can do some shopping.

Husband – sharing violation, access denied.

Wife – I made a mistake in marrying you.

Husband – data type mismatch.

Wife – you are useless.

Husband – by default.

Wife – who was there with you in the car this morning?

Husband – system unstable press ctrl, alt, del to Reboot.

Wife – what is the relation between you & your Receptionist?

Husband – the only user with write permission.

Wife – what is my value in your life?

Husband – unknown virus detected.

Wife – do you love me or your computer?

Husband – Too many parameters.

Wife – I will go to my dad’s house.

Husband – program performed illegal operation, it will Close.

Wife – I will leave you forever.

Husband – close all programs and log out for another User.

Wife – it is worthless talking to you.

Husband – shut down the computer.

Wife – I am going

Husband – Its now safe to turn off your computer

Today, I’ve got a interesting forward mail from one of my friend and I couldn’t stop posting it here. Check out some of the very funny and interesting definitions of the various designations of the people related to the IT jobs. Please don’t take the definitions too seriously. These definitions are just for fun and nothing to do with the professional world.

1. Project Manager is a Person who thinks nine Women can deliver a baby in One month.

2. Developer is a Person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a Baby.

3. Onsite Coordinator is one who thinks single Woman can deliver nine babies in one month.

4. Client is the one who doesn’t know why he wants a baby.

5. Marketing Manager is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and woman are available.

6. Resource Optimization Team thinks they don’t Need a man or woman; They’ll produce a child with zero resources.

7. Documentation Team thinks they don’t care whether the child is delivered, they’ll just document 9 months.

8. Quality Auditor is the person who is never happy with the PROCESS to produce a baby.

9. Tester is a person who always tells his wife that this is not the Right baby.